Taking Care: Created for Connecting with Ourselves and Others

May 27

My kids often send me memes, and I saved this one that’s particularly meaningful:

The gist of it is that being gentle with people comes from acknowledging how much we don’t know about someone else’s life. It takes my breath away every time I remember it or come across it. Oh, yeah. My life, my experiences are not necessarily yours. Each of our stories from the day we are born is so different. I really don’t know the half of yours—especially all you are feeling in the deepest parts of you—and all you are carrying in your heart, your mind, your very body.

What we are all living now adds another layer to what each of us might be experiencing. Life now requires even more gentleness towards one another. For me, it also means being gentle with myself. Feelings of loss and grief and uncertainty can mean, like yesterday, I find tears running down my face and not understanding why. Maybe from relief that some parts of life seem to be opening back up just a little? Also maybe because what’s been transpiring in the last months has been really, really difficult.

When I finish a morning walk/run around my neighborhood, and I am sitting on my back steps taking off my shoes and notice how green the grass is, how the trees are starting to bud, and I look from house to house and consider all my neighbors, I realize my face is wet. Later when an email from an RCMA supplier member arrives in my inbox with words like—my friend, hope my email finds you well, sending a virtual hug, thank you for all you do, stay safe, take care—I cry again. When a call with Debbie and Harry ends—and that incredible, joy-filled laugh of Harry’s that makes everyone feel better—is still ringing in my ears, again I have another moment. I miss being with people.

My therapist had a post on Instagram about how cortisol—a hormone in our bodies created as a response to stress—is released in our tears. Our bodies are actually physically cleansed of stress when we have tears running down our faces. Allowing ourselves to cry is an act of self-care.

What seems important, is that we pay attention to all that is within us and to what others are experiencing. We can be with each other even if it’s across the yard, on a Zoom call, FaceTime, text, email, or picking up the phone to spend time listening to one another. We are meant to be connected. We were created to be connected. We are also in a battle—especially now—for our hearts to stay open.

We can help one another remember that we can know some things, but we simply cannot know everything.

When sadness engulfs me, when the ground beneath me and what I see and hear around me seems more uncertain than certain, words can help. Words from another. Words from Scripture. All faith traditions have words that comfort.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”
Isaiah 43:2

We are never alone. It is good to reach out and remind one another of this—and to hear one another’s hearts and minds—and to sit with one another even from afar and just be. We have gathered together many times before and we will be together again. In the meantime, we can embrace the many opportunities to stay connected—and pay attention to others—and to ourselves.